Another "What If" (Originally Written 8/31/2012)

Okay, so I’m sitting here on the porch with Rocky and my morning coffee thinking what a beautiful day and what I want to accomplish in the yard.

It looks and feels like rain – maybe. Yeay.

As always, I think how blessed I am to have what I have and do what I do. I begin thanking God and naming my blessings.

This time I begin by reflecting on my greatest blessing of all – the fact that God sent His son, Jesus, to earth to live as a man, think as a man, suffer as a man, and then He climbed up on that cross and died for me and my sins.

The living as a man part is the part that always gets me. It is so hard to imagine that He was, in fact, a human being, just like me. And did – or didn’t do – the same things as me.

It’s not that I doubt it – it’s just so hard to comprehend. And then, as I have often done, I find myself thinking –

Did He accomplish all this BECAUSE He was God’s son – or did He BECOME God’s son because of all the people who have lived and died He was/is the only one who did (or didn’t) do all these things?

My conservative Christian children and friends are likely gasping out loud right about now. Sorry about that. Chill. God doesn’t mind my questions, why should you? No matter how wacky or how old I get..

Actually, He and I have discussed this many times. Well, in this case, it’s just me thinking “what if” but He has heard this what if from me many times in my life. Almost as wacky as my “what if we’re merely the equivalent of a flea on a dog” what if. He’s very familiar with the odd or unusual “what ifs”of this particular wacky child of his. And never once has He reprimanded me for my wonderings, my “what ifs”.

Some things He eventually clarifies for me; other things, like this what if, remain unanswered. Likely it will remain so until I meet up with Him in person. Well, I mean, spirit. That’s okay, too. It is, after all, just a “what if”. Not something I plan my life around.

The reason I even think about this – not often, but sometimes -- is because, for me, it is even more amazing to contemplate the latter.

When the Broadway Opera/Musical, “Jesus Christ, Superstar,” came out back in the 60s, it offended many Christians. I thought it was the most amazing and uplifting spiritual experience of my life thus far.

It had always been easy for me to understand/accept the “divine” nature of God and His Son.

Growing up in a conservative Christian home praying before meals, attending church three times a week, I just never doubted God was God and Jesus was His son.

Seeing a play and listening to music that enabled me to see Jesus as a real live person who lived and and loved and experienced joy and pain – just like me – that took my understanding and love and awe to another level.

To think God’s son willingly came here to live and love and suffer as a man, a human being, for my sake fills me with gratitude and praise and awe that words fail to express...

To entertain the thought, the possibiity, the “what if” of him becoming God’s Son BECAUSE he . . .

“. . . was tempted and sinned not” ---

There simply are no words to express the humility and gratitude and awe such a “what if” generates in my heart and soul.

Heretically yours,
Sarah.